Fighting the fatigue (Day 362)

So the new betablocker is going to be a little problematic I think. I took it before bed, like I use to do with my old one, and I was lucky to even get my blog post completed last night before falling into acoma. The doc wasn’t kidding when he said this new betablocker was serious business, but if it keeps my heart beating then I  guess the side effects are worth it.

I woke up late, it was just before 11am, and I struggled to get my son to his swim lessons by 11:30. It was one thing being in a fog from the betablocker, and entirely different thing having to struggle with one hand and one good working leg to rush me out the door. Have you ever tried to put on a bra with one hand? Well it was an epic fail. 

I spent the morning shouting directions at all three of my kids, trying to get help with everything from getting my bra done up, to screwing on a lid to my shaker cup for breakfast, to helping bring my purse and belongings to the vehicle as I hobbled out with my cane. I have officially boarded the struggle bus.

I miraculously made it on time for my son’s swim lessons, which were only 30 minutes, and the whole ordeal to get there on time had officially exhausted me. I managed to get home to help my other son get ready for his mini Fan Con event at the library and then I passed out until supper time. 

The doctor had advised me that it would take me some time to adjust to the medication. I think this is going to be a lot tougher of an adjustment then I was prepared for. I’ve definitely been feeling the blues, especially given the fact that I’m not running right now, but being this tired is also hard to cope with. It’s a stark reminder of the kind of fatigue I felt nearly a year ago before I started the fat to phat program. The kind that I thought I had beat. 

I have definitely been moody and a tad bit cranky and did what I said I wouldn’t, emotional binge eating. Yes, it happened. I ate a hugh fruit and nut chocolate bar and bag of cheezies tonight while watching Zootopia with the kids. I didn’t feel great for doing it, especially given the fact that I knew I was emotional eating, but it’s over now. I guess I can chalk it up to a bad day and move on from here. And no more junk food is allowed in the house.

Tomorrow is a new day, clean eating starts again, and if my knee is feeling better I’m going to attempt a short walk. I need to find my groove again, even if I have to modify.